4 Songs to Build a Happy Home
What have you laid down as the foundation for your home?
Ask yourself, “What is our home really about? What do our ‘non-negotiables’ say about our priorities? How do I even define family? What actually makes a family happy?”
This line of questioning might be overly general and possibly dangerously abstract, yet questions on which you must have clarity.
Let’s look at this from another angle.
The culture overwhelms us with a plethora of grains of shifting sand on which we are told to build our homes. We fallen prey to the many voices in our culture leading us in every direction, chasing after innumerable trends, and fads, and how-to’s, and quick fixes, and distractions. To build the home on these ever-changing and inadequate ideals is foolish. As a result, the family becomes unrecognizable.
Yet, the happy home is more than just a possibility; the happy home becomes a reality for the wise builder, who builds on solid rock: Christ Jesus as the broad, firm, and unshakable foundation.
The Scriptures guide us down a path filled with hope for our families. Be the wise builder, and let’s establish another vision for our families.
The happy home is where parents pave the way for a Gospel-centric, Christ-centric fear of the Lord, where children are strengthened on their journey of becoming plants nurtured in their youth and corner pillars carved in the palace styles (Psalm 144:12), where the whole family unit is consecrated to the Lord only, where the family’s Gospel-influence reverberates through their community.
How do we do this?
How do we start intentionally building up our home toward eternal happiness?
How do we become a family, “whose God is the LORD”?
What does this look like, and what would this call of us?
Psalm 144 allows us to peak through the window of a people whose God is the LORD, and to witness the potential happiness of God’s people - a happiness that echos throughout our families, our churches, our communities, our cities, etc. But this happiness only belongs to those whose God is the LORD - the God of the Bible.
Let’s simply look at the macro-structure of Psalm 144, and use the flow-of-thought as a guideline for meditation and application for our families.
In your home, sing the song of God’s greatness and goodness (vv. 1-2).
While reading Psalm 144, one observation really grabs my attention: The titles given to God derive from David’s direct and personal experiences with God. Literally, these titles express how God came through for David (I pray we come to these realizations as well, as we consider how God is for us in Jesus Christ):
Steadfast Love.
Fortress.
Stronghold.
Deliverer.
Shield.
Refuge.
For the sake of spiritual health, try something: Take each of those titles, reflect deeply through the pages of your life, and list out the different ways Jesus has shown Himself to you in accordance to these titles. This might not prove so easy at the beginning; not much may come to mind at first. But don’t rush the process.
Simply linger a little longer …
“When Thou art present, evil cannot abide;
In Thy fellowship is fullness of joy,
Beneath Thy side is peace of conscience,
By Thy side no fears disturb,
no apprehensions banish rest of mind.”
Give it time, and you will begin seeing little gems worthy of being catalogued. Whatever you find, speak them with your family. Share these treasures with your loved ones. Sing this song louder than any other song that’s presently playing on your family’s playlist.
A side dish to encourage you along this effort: Don’t let your inexperience in this at the beginning stop you from trying again next time (trust me, it does feel strangely awkward at the start, but it gets much easier the more you do it). This is a spiritual discipline that will yield greater and greater benefits over time as you continue to train in the spiritual gymnasium. Do not lose hope and do not grow weary; it is God’s good intention to reveal Himself to you, that you may know your Heavenly Father, the only true God, and the One He has sent - Jesus Christ (John 17:3).
In your home, sing the song of your frailties (vv. 3-4).
As you sing of God’s greatness and goodness, you will find yourself in uncomfortable territory - a place of great humility. From there, you must begin to sing of your frailties - your weaknesses, your limitations, your failures, your great need for a great God, “since we were born only yesterday and know nothing, and our days on earth are but a shadow” (Job 8:9), and “He is in heaven and you are on earth” (Ecclesiastes 5:2).
David, likewise, declares in Psalm 39:5, “Behold, You have made my days a few handbreadths, and my lifetime is as nothing before You. Surely all mankind stands as a mere breath! Selah”.
The “Superman Complex” - songs of unwarranted pride and self-sufficiency - will kill the happiness in your home. I know it sounds counter-intuitive and counter-cultural, but personal experience, cultural studies, and history will prove how such self-dependency ruins the life of many families.
There is a proper place for meditating on the shortness of life, the difficulties of life, and coming to an understanding of your great need to always depend on God. Wisdom and happiness is not found in ignoring or pushing aside the realities of your frailties (that would be a tragic unreality), but being taught by God how to number your limited days (Psalm 90:12).
You are not called to wallow in your weaknesses, but to discover greater power and sufficiency amid them - a power rooted in the works and promises in Jesus, that ushers you into unimaginably great victories (2 Corinthians 6:3-13).
In your home, sing the song of God’s power (vv. 5-8).
In your home, do you make it your personal aim to always speak of God fighting your battles? Or do find that the tone of your home is one of hopelessness, defeat, and despair? Do you find in your home an atmosphere of great possibilities in the Lord, or an atmosphere of “well, that’s just the way it is…”?
You are not called to stand firm on your own power, in your own abilities, in your strengths, in your know-hows. Everything about your life and family dynamic should portray God in the same manner as what you have read in these verses. You must do all you can to keep your gaze heavenward to the throne of Eternal Power, and not turn to the left or to the right.
“Power in the Christian life depends upon our connection with the source of power.”
How does Psalm 144 depict our Heavenly Father?
He is portrayed as the heavenly warrior who comes to fight on earth on behalf of those who belong to Him in faith. There’s great power knowing that God, the Great Warrior of Heaven, cares and graciously intervenes. This knowledge is your steadfast hope in any and all circumstances, for any and all deliverances.
A happy home is built upon the knowledge and trust that God, the Great Warrior in Heaven, is fighting your battles - not just the “big” ones, but all of them. Stay near to Him. Truly, you can cast all your cares on Him, because He cares about you (1 Peter 5:7).
You can watch a message about “God’s Magnanimous Love” here.
As you come across greater revelations of His care for you, as you grow in your understanding of the depth of the love of Christ for you (Ephesians 3:14-19), as realize more and more how truly nothing can separate you from the love of Christ (Romans 8:31-39), and that God is working all things for the good (Romans 8:28), new lyrics emerge in your heart.
In your home, sing new songs of confidence in the Lord (vv. 9-11).
Make your home a place where you openly declare, with great confidence, how the Lord is working in your life. Make your home a place of open, unrestrained, and unabashed testimony of the wonderful works of God, and how His great works change your outlook on life and the days to come.
Moment-by-moment victories.
Celebrations of all kinds.
New mercies every day.
New graces provided in all times of need.
Sufficient grace in times weaknesses.
Gospel-confidences amid times of uncertainty.
Transformation after transformation.
Glory after glory.
Join your home to the heavenly choir, singing to the Lord "a new song”, for He has done marvelous things - wonderful and amazing works, accomplished with awesome power. Sing these new songs from a heart that is overtaken by great surprise and awe!
You can even sing now, as a family, the song that is sung in eternity future (Revelation 5:9-10), “[9] And they sang a new song, saying, ‘Worthy are You to take the scroll and to open its seals, for You were slain, and by Your blood You ransomed people for God from every tribe and language and people and nation, [10] and You have made them a kingdom and priests to our God, and they shall reign on the earth.’”
Your happy home is where all of your voices together proclaim, “As for me and my family, we will worship the Lord.” (Joshua 24:15)
Thank you for taking the time to reflect with me, and I pray that this post strengthens your heart in the Lord. Let’s encourage one another; share in the comments below the many ways has God shown Himself to be your steadfast love, fortress, stronghold, deliverer, shield, refuge. Spread the Word.
Linus Nguyen is the founder of Of The Way Ministries and serves as lead pastor of Emmanuel Bible Fellowship (Houston, Texas). He has taught in, developed curriculum for, and written on the subjects of Biblical Studies, Theology, Discipleship, Spiritual Formation, Philosophy of Religion, Missions, Humanities, Rhetoric, and Communications at Secondary, Undergraduate, and Postgraduate levels. // Follow him on Podcast, YouTube, Pinterest, and Facebook.